Friday, August 29, 2014
Lately, artwork like this has set me back quite a bit. I realize that without much more practice, I'll never be much better than this, and with work and life in general, I just don't take the time out like I'd like to. I wanted to do this for me. I wanted to prove to myself that I was still a decent artist and I could pull something off if I needed to in a pinch. What I've now realized is that I'm out of practice and sadly depressed about it.
I keep trying to find that younger me who drew things and found that she liked those things. It doesn't matter if I look back on those drawings and see the flaws now. When I originally drew this picture or that, I liked them, and I still look at them fondly. Now, when I put pencil to paper I just see flaw after flaw, and no matter how long I spend trying to fix those problems, I can't get them right. I realized today that I needed a model to do this drawing, so I had a figure that I based it on in order to get the positioning right. For the most part, she has a good shape, the arms don't look too bad, the shoulders and angle are pretty tidy.
The problem is, what I wanted to use this drawing for, is for a program cover, but I can't. Now when I've had better artists doing the covers over the years that are so much better than me. How can I say, "let's go back to my artwork." ? I can't. I hasn't improved. It isn't better or at least of equal quality of those others, so how can I use it?
And when I tried showing it to other people, I got no response. Just as I expect not to get a response out of this post either seeing as though only a handful of people will ever see it. But that's okay, because I had to put it somewhere, all of those hours of work I put into it, it would be a shame never to see the light of day. But then again, quite a few of my drawings lately have ended up like this. Maybe she'll be a tiny button where the knee won't even show. Oh well.