It's been a busy week since I quit my job.
I don't regret getting out of that other situation. In fact, I'm happier again. I've been writing more, painting more, cleaning more, and reading more. I've been planning things again and baking again. Things that were a chore before are fun again. And it's only been a week since I got out of that situation.
If you've been reading any amount of these (which, according to hits, there's only been one or two, and most likely someone just dropping by to spam my comments) you'd know that I have been having a bunch of rollercoaster emotions over the past eight months. I started with anger at losing my job of 17 or so years, then sadness, depression, then a sense of relief and excitement and eventually back into the pits of despair and feeling less than independent. It's nice to know that I have someone I can depend on, but the guilt of that, even after I try to remind myself that he had gone through something similar when we'd just met. But he never had to depend on me, so I feel like I shouldn't force him to go through the same thing.
So, the night before I quit I fixed up my resume and submitted it to a few places that I said I was going to back in October, over a month ago. I should have just cut and run with that previous job the moment I got there, but I was trying to stick it out because they say you have better chances of getting a new job when you already have one. I stuck it out much longer then I should have because I was getting miserable a whole lot faster then I had at any of my previous jobs.
I had applied to both of these places before. The first one I didn't bother to announce that fact because I had been denied twice already. I understand the reasoning now, but was pretty crushed then, especially since no one bothered to say "hey, you're not good for this position but we think you'd be good for this one...apply for it instead." I think if I was a person hiring for a company I'd be more encouraging. But I guess I'm different than most people.
The other job I had also applied for, but they were only hiring three people at the time, so I didn't get it. So when I applied for that one again I said so and said I saw they were hiring again so I'd try again.
Over the course of the next few days, I had two phone interviews set up for Tuesday of this week. Surprisingly they both went over just fine and before I knew it I had two in-person interviews set up, one for each place.
The interviews began yesterday, and I drove up to the place that I had gotten a phone interview before but hadn't gotten any further. The building itself was so intimidating. People were coming and going out of there so regularly that it was making me nervous. How many people work here? A whole lot, that's what. I walked past the first office, did a turn, then went back and checked in, thinking someone would come to collect me right away. A few other people left with their interviewers and then I was collected with another fellow and they dropped him off and then dropped me off back on the first floor, although I really don't think it was worth me walking around with them. I sat down in front of two people who tag-teamed me an interview the talk went on for half an hour. It wasn't bad, but by the time I left there, I wasn't excited.
The next interview is the following Tuesday. I'll have to write about it later once it's happened, but I've had an in-person interview with this company before. I don't think it went very well, but it was only the second live interview I'd had in over 10-13 years. They were conducting this particular type of interview only for the first time, so we were all new and it just didn't come through as well as it could have. I've been a bit salty about this for a while, but the fact that they're giving me another chance means that I can do better this time.
And I think I'd decided which job I would like the most IF I get either job. I'd like to be given the possibility at both of them, but now that I have been within both environments at least briefly, one is definitely more comfortable for me than the other. But I can't have a final decision until I've been offered at least one of them.
The problem is if I'm offered the one that starts in January, I hope I'll be offered the other in the meantime so I can choose that one instead.
Now it just becomes a waiting and planning game. Trying to 'ace' the second interview in order to get that one. I want to get started on my new life. I want to get started learning the ins and outs of this other world. I'm a bit perplexed why one bothers me more than the other. In essence, they're both call centers, so why is one more exciting than the other?
Well, if all else fails, I can move on to something else. I'm a bit ashamed that I don't have a job during the holiday season so I'm feeling a bit sad that I wasn't further along by now. But, on the other hand, I can't spend my life being miserable either. I need to find something I'm HAPPY in. And how can an artistic person be happy at a call center? They literally asked me that at the interview yesterday...and I said: "oh no worry, I get my creativity out at home." But...is that really true? I started realizing that maybe it wasn't. Maybe I lied. Would decorating my desk at work be a good enough creative outlet? Or will I be miserable?
I wish I could just work on my online business and make that a career. I haven't found anything even in my personal life that I could just sit and do on a daily basis and not get bored of it. So I've put myself into a lot of different things. So how would working in a place where all I did was take phone calls all day long be satisfying?
So...we'll see. One more interview to go.
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