Here I am again, another year has passed in a blur and I realized I hadn't blogged here since finally getting the app. The idea was I'd do it more often, perhaps replace the diary I've kept for going on thirty years now. Ha! Handwritten memories still are better than typed I guess. It's been my therapy for far too long for me to give it up now.
I'd like to think that things have gotten easier, and maybe they have in some ways. I have friends I spend time with, I keep myself entertained most days. I try to tell stories and I try to share those stories with others though D&D and through my YouTube channel.
But spending time with people always has been rough on me. I think I'm starting to better to understand why I am the way I am. Learning that "normal" people don't understand how someone like me exists. I want clarity in ever situation, I want acceptance, I want planning and structure. I don't want drama. I don't want to feel like someone can break my peace at any moment.
But I'll fight for that peace. I'll avoid the battle as long as I can, but like a trapped mouse, I'll fight back if I have to.
This is kinda a vague post, isn't it?
I enjoy the life of a content creator but when you risk making content with others you risk getting in the way of their creativity too. We have disagreements about how things should be handled. We either learn to work with one another or we stop doing it altogether. I don't regret making the decisions I've made along the way, but it doesn't make things easier.
All that to remind myself if I read this later at some point: you did what you thought was right. It was right for you whether you made others uncomfortable and angry. Their feelings are theirs. And yours are your own. Maybe it wasn't enjoyable at the time, but you did get a laugh out how how silly this whole thing is. A twenty-something doesn't have the life experience you do, so don't let them diminish your wisdom by saying you did wrong.
You did what was right for YOU and YOU are what matters.
No comments:
Post a Comment