My Life with Anime Figures - Part 4 (Trigun 2)

While I won't say that anime figures can take the place of an actual person, I will say that sometimes I have imagined that characters from an anime or manga could come to life.  Take Vash the Stampede for example, and the life lessons that he accrued after 150 years of life as a relatively immortal humanoid.  Someone who can see the good in people even after they can shoot, kill and destroy, is a remarkably strong person.  He didn't get bitter after seeing how people act to one another, and continued on with his life in the pursuit of "LOVE and PEACE!"

I've always found Vash a remarkable character since he had so many bad things happen to him over the years of his life.  If you've read the manga you'll see what I mean, and even if you have just watched the anime, you might get a slight feeling from him.  I spent a good deal of my early twenties pondering over the fact that this man could take a beating and keep on believing that there was still good in people.  I'd say he'd never worked in retail...but he did some of that too.  (ahahahaha, retail joke)

I found myself drawn to Vash long before I met my husband and for a time I wrote plenty of fanfiction depicting how I might react to a character such as he.  I put myself into the place of Milly Thompson (and if you know me I still go by that name at least via Avatar) and saw myself looking out for this deep spikey-headed man who just wanted to believe that there could be good in the world and if he kept going long enough he could eventually bring it out of people.  I even did a bit of "Mary Sue" writing, replacing myself with Milly in those cases and sometimes even getting a romantic interest between me and Vash.  Okay, so I think we all have a moment in time where we dream about a character who isn't based in reality.  Maybe not everyone has crushes on 2D characters, but that being said, even crushes on people who are members of bands or TV shows are somewhat fictional in the way they act and behave.  Most of the time people are different on camera than in real life, and I've seen plenty of interviews to prove the point.

Anyway, I decided today that I'd approach today's blog on anime figures a bit differently since I'm feeling rather dejected and tired of being around people.  Being an introvert, I think I was drawn to Vash in the way all introverts are drawn toward extroverted people - to an extent.  We all get exhausted at some point, but there's a moment where if an extrovert pays me attention I'm suddenly excited like maybe I am part of something special.  And Trigun did that for me, I was part of this small club and when I was asked by some rather extroverted fans of the series to help them start a scanlation club, I was all about it, even to the extent of buying the manga magazines from Japan in order to keep things rolling.  The perks of this is knowing some behind-the-scenes information about a series that I otherwise would not have been privy.

Take for example this set of Trigun figures that came out in two versions.  They came out both in disassembled figures in boxes and then later in pre-assembled figures as well.  I bought a mix of them, however, after the first one turned out to be very difficult to keep assembled, Rei-Dei here, as you can see to the right is missing the straw sticking out of his lips, I turned to getting the rest of the figures pre-assembled and nicely glued together.  Rei-Dei gives me pains every time I put him together and most of the time I don't even keep him together since his top knot falls out contantly and I'm already missing pieces.  I put him back together only for the couple of minutes that I took this picture before putting him away again.

But I probably wouldn't have heard about these figures in advance enough to have ordered them if I hadn't been part of this Trigun group at the time.  I enjoyed being able to know just a few people who knew enough Japanese to be able to share the translations and be able to point me in the direction of finding all of this series.  They're pretty hard to find anywhere now, being the only figures from the manga as opposed to the anime series.  I'm sure you can find them on eBay, but unlike some of the other Trigun figures that I haven't even really posted on here (wait for Trigun 3 for the last of my collection) where you can still see them at conventions, you can't find these in person anymore.

I actually enjoyed quite a bit from my real life people relationships when it came to this series.  There was a social aspect that I enjoyed long before Facebook was around (oh, I know it was around but before it got so popular that people stopped emailing and would only chat via FB).  At the time I created my own website and people would email me and then we'd chat on AIM or some other live messenger, and then we'd chat about our favorite show Trigun.  And I found lots of fans of the series, those who liked Vash, some who liked Wolfwood, others who LOVED Legato, and all of the characters in between.  It was a social network of people with like interests and we all loved discussing this series that we could only follow through translated manga scans because at that time there was now official books released by Dark Horse.  We'd talk about whether the translations were correct, we'd have panels at conventions and we'd buy up everything we could find in the dealer's room, from figures to posters to every little thing in between that had Trigun attached to it.

I think though, the problem with liking any anime series, is that eventually it has to come to an end.  I'm not going to take into account money makers like Pokemon and YuGiOh and some of those others that have been going on for decades, but the good ones usually end somewhere and then part of the group will go off on their own way.  Some of my friends headed out to other series, some of them stuck around and waited for the movie, others brushed in and out of my life with our fanfiction and role playing, but eventually most of us drifted apart over the years.  A few of us went on to other series together, but I never did really find a thrill with any series quite like I did with Trigun.  Sure, I have plenty of collections as you've seen through my figure collection series here, but for the most part I never did gain the friends that I did through Trigun.  Maybe that's the reason that I still cling to the series the way I do today.

I don't even have a reason to stick with the series all of these years later because there's been no mention of redoing the anime with the manga characters like they did with Hellsing or Full Metal Alchemist.  I think the days of that are probably coming to an end.  Zazie here didn't show up in this form in the anime and he had a few other forms in the manga that we'll probably never see animated.  Thankfully I think most anime series now taken from a manga will be faithful to the original content, but back when Trigun was produced, there were only a few books out and the animators had to get an idea from Nightow of where he was going with the series.  It would be nearly a decade before the manga would wrap up in a similar place that the anime did back in 1997.  We wouldn't see half the Gung-Ho Guns or the other characters that came or went out of Vash's life animated because they probably didn't even exist in the author's mind yet!  So having figures like this are really the closest I'll ever get to seeing them brought to life.  It's a shame they didn't go ahead and do all of the Gung-ho Guns or the Insurance Girls in this set of characters because I really would have liked to have had more to look at and just wonder about.

They're almost like little moments of time from a series that we can return to, but that we'll never completely relive that experience of seeing it all for the first time.  The feeling I get of reading the manga for the first time and then hurrying to explain it on my website will never return to me.  I'll never get those friendships back the way they were when my site would go down because of too much traffic.  Those were the days!  It was like the thrill of the performance, of being liked and sought after and people actually worried when I didn't write them back right away, they worried if I didn't answer their questions and they wanted to know what I had to say about the topic.  It was like suddenly I was the extrovert and all of these people wanted to know me and to know what I knew.  They wanted details and I wanted to give it to them and it was this great experience when we would share our collections with each other and just show off everything we'd found out about a series that had brought us together.

But as with all good series, as I mentioned before, they end, and they get covered in dust like Midvalley the Hornfreak here.  I even dusted him off, but the camera picks up the little details.  He was always one of my least favorite characters, although I even knew people who loved him as well.

But what do I do now when these people have drifted apart from me?  Facebook holds a little hope, as I've founded a group based on those fans of my website and we discuss the new series here and there that Nightow has come out with (Blood Blockade Battlefront being the main one, and I do hope someday to collect figures from that series as well).  But the feeling that I had when I was sharing these figures for the first time with my website and saying, "look what I got today!" just isn't the same anymore.

So how do I get a feeling of this back?  I blog perhaps, but I have only a couple of readers since people just don't like to read any more.  I post some photos because people at least still like looking at pictures so long as it doesn't take too long for them to load.  But I don't put my thoughts on video, although I have thought briefly about taking these blogs and making a video of myself reading them...nah, I really don't like to hear my own voice and don't like to see myself either.

I guess I'll just share how these little figures make me feel.  Right now, I remember the memories attached to them.  I'll remember the first moment that I picked up one and had to buy the entire set so that I wouldn't miss out on anything.  I run my fingers over the smooth plastic and think about the person who designed this little thing so that it could go into production and be shipped all over the world.  Imagine how that person would feel when they know that people everywhere appreciate the hard work they put into this little tiny sculpture.  Wolfwood was brought to life by someone who took the time to see what he could be not in 2D but in a 3D form.  And here he is, Cross Punisher and all, ready for action and someone imagined it, someone scuplted it and someone bought it to display and look at and remember the series and the friendships and love that revolved around them.

And yet, in my nostalgia I feel depressed and sad.  I know the people that I knew through this series are still out there, but many of them have drifted away and I'll never have contact with them ever again.  I feel sad that my friends are gone where I can no longer reach them.  Perhaps they are doing some miraculous things with their lives.  I knew Trigun fans who became Opera singers, some who were linguistics majors, art majors (a lot of them), parents, retail workers, dog groomers, teachers, you name it... these people are from all corners of the world and I knew them for a brief time because of Vash and his dark version.

I wish I could go back to the days when I so fervently painted Vash's hair black in the back here since his hair had changed color by Trigun Maximum and I was disappointed that they hadn't colored it that way in the figure.  I may have the only character of Vash like this out there.  Perhaps others did the same thing, who knows?  Maybe they've been sold or shoved in a box some where.  Maybe they are still out on display like they are in my house.  Maybe people still look on them and think, "Yeah, those were the days."

But maybe those people also have families, children, and lives outside of the anime figures and maybe they're way more happy than I'll be with these "my plastic children".  I don't treat them as children, but I don't feel like I could throw them away either, that they're simply pieces of plastic that I picked up over the years either.  Maybe that makes me a kind of a hoarder as opposed to a collector.  Maybe all collectors have a streak in them that makes them say, "these are sometimes more important than human relationships."  Do I believe that?  I don't know.  Maybe sometimes I do, as these figures don't leave me, they don't say, "Oh hey, you believe something I don't so lets not be friends anymore."  They don't just die, although they can be broken and destroyed.  They might disappear and you can't find them again, but you don't have the same emotional attachment you might with people either.

Am I trying to reach out for help with this blog?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I know I definitely have a mental disorder of some sort, but writing helps me out with this.  I find some sort of strange comfort putting this out there for people to read, even though in most cases I know that people don't read this.  Maybe that's a comfort too.  I feel like Trigun was my last reason why people actually read what I had to say, and maybe that's why thinking about it makes me so sad today.  I know that no one cares about what I have to write unless it's less than a paragraph long.  I know that people don't want to get to know me and what's inside of me because they don't sit down and read what I have to say.  It's all there out in the open if someone just wanted to take a look, but they don't.  Do I ask this from figures?  Nope.  I don't expect them to respond, but I would hope humans would, but they don't.

Oh...I'm sorry, I get irritated thinking about how all I have wanted to do since I was 10 years old was write and have people read what I had to say.  I wanted people to ask me to write out what was on my mind and when that happened then I was truly happy.  Those years where I wrote about Highlander and Trigun were some of the happiest years of my life because people wanted to read ME.  But they don't any more.  My mother isn't interested, my husband doesn't read it, and none of my Facebook friends do either.  It's okay, if you actually ARE reading this and you're thinking 'wait a second here!' I commend you, and thank you.  But it's okay, I never expected you to, as I decided not even to post this blog on my FB page anyway.  I mostly just feel like I've let myself down because I can't find those reasons to venture out into fiction any more because no one besides me cares to read.  I think when I was younger it didn't matter because I had hopes when they finally did read what I had to write they'd think it was fantastic.  But when I got into writers groups and they didn't even really care about my stuff enough to even help me edit what I had to write, I figured they weren't even really reading it anyway.  Why put effort into what they had to write when they wouldn't even reciprocate?

So Trigun is all of these things.  My life has been about figurines and about these 3D objects that have made me feel better by being there.  Unassuming creatures that never demand anything but an occasional dusting and maybe a bit of super glue now and then.  And they bring my life light even when I feel gloomy.

Thanks for reading...stay tuned for Part 5.

My Life with Anime Figures - Part 3 (Gatchapon)

 Welcome to part three of "My Life with Anime Figures"!  Today I will be talking about gatchapon, which are small figures that often come in capsules, sometimes in multiple pieces, or are small enough to be molded from a single piece of plastic.  Often these small figures are chibi versions or busts.  In Japan these figures often come from vending machines, although in the USA, many of them are sold either in the capsule eggs or just in plastic bags.  I still consider some of the blind box figures gatchapon, although I'm sure I'd get an argument over this.  For this blog I'm grouping some of them in this category as typically you don't know what you are going to get until you open the package.

I had briefly considered grouping my Trigun figures into this category as the first ones in that blog were actually gatchapon.  However, since I have such a huge collection of Trigun, I decided they should have their own section.  Many of the CLAMP figures were also this way in part 2.  The keychain figures of Tsubasa Chronicles above were also gatchapon, but I bought them as a set.

Most gatchapon found in the states come as sets from a vendor, although on rare occasions you can find them in vending machines.  Wizzywig, which I mentioned in the previous post had a set of six of these machines, and I've seen pictures of them in Japanese stores in the states, but most of the time you'll have to settle with finding them without the chance of being surprised.

Besides the Final Fantasy figures above, many of my random purchases over the years were by digging through boxes filled with gatchapon.  Many anime vendors in the past (although sometimes you can still find them, usually these figures get thrown into grab bags) would just dump older series gatchapon into a box and label them for $2-$5 and you would have to dig through them for a random find.  My husband came with a dozen such figures he never opened, so I have quite a few figures in the house that won't even go into this blog as we've left them packaged.

However, some, like this set from the short series AIR, I took out and put together.  As you can see, many of them have silly expressions, perhaps the eyes don't line up completely, seams are obvious and they don't always stand on their bases properly.  I've always been amazed how they can figure out how to make these figures fit in a small capsule and then also look like whole (if sometimes quite wobbly) figures once they are put together.

 A special case of this (although I admit these are blind box figures) were a couple I had from the Mai-HiMe video game (although I didn't know they were from a video game at the time).  These two came in a dozen parts each, very tiny and fragile.  They were the first figures I collected which were made with clear and opaque plastics.  Unfortunately they are big dust collectors so I keep them packaged up now except when I bring them out to show them off.  It's still hard to believe they came out of a little 2x1x5 inch box (or at least close).

I have always been drawn to small figures that have lots of little pieces.  It's amazing how much detail can go into a figure that only stands three inches tall.  The better quality pieces have better paint jobs; blind boxes tend to be better than true capule gatchapon.  Also they tend to fit better and the seams are less obvious.

These figures from the ROBOT series (Yoshitoshi ABe) came in multiple pieces, also in blind boxes.  Although, not too many pieces, they have very clean printed eyes, the figures are carefully constructed with lots of little pieces.  I fell in love with these series of figures, although I only own one more (which you'll see below) since the boxes cost around $15-$20 when I managed to find them years later.  There were three or four different series based on the graphic/art books with the same name.  I first fell in love with the almost 'steam punk' feel early on with Lain, and then later with Last Exile.  Strangely enough, I never collected any of the ROBOT series even though it was later released in English and I found at least four of them and went through them at Borders back in the day.  I'm not sure what the stories were behind these random figures, but I still enjoy looking at them and have never packed them up (even though you can see the dust has started to collect even after a good dusting today).

As you can see from the figure on the left here, she's one of my trouble children as she won't stand on her own anymore.  Her little feet fit on tiny little pegs and she's had a habit of leaning back almost from the very beginning of pulling her out of the box.  I like her though, maybe it's because she's got wings (I'm a sucker for wings).  The base is a really awesome opal pearl color with bits of blue, purple, and yellow.  Very few of my small figures come with special paint, but I have special feelings about those that sparkle, or look different in light.

I haven't placed anything in my photos before this to give you a sense of size, so with the Wacom pen next to her you can get an idea of how small.

For a time, some figures came with DVD box sets.  The figure below comes from Last Exile, and she came from DVD set number one that had the box with her.  Al has an alternate body where she wears her coat.  I actually have two of these figures around the house since both my husband an I got one with our DVD sets.  I took mine out of her packaging though and used to switch her between this look and the coat which she'd wear during the winter.  I rarely do this anymore, although as I was taking her apart to clean her today I noticed that her legs are starting to get sticky.  I'm not quite sure on the lifespan of figures.  I have early figures like the Trigun ones that have collected some dust but they clean off easily with a brush.  Others tend to get a layer of sticky dust that won't clean off without running them under water.  Some more mat-finish figures don't seem to collect much dust at all.  The little angel figure above collects dust on her base but she remains fairly dust free for the most part even though I've had her a long time.

So far, I have only one figure that is showing age because of a lack of regular dusting.  The Vash McFarland figure tends to show it's age the most since it's leaning and getting sticky from a degradation of plastic, paint and just collecting dust and other debris.  He's one of my oldest figures however, dating from probably around 1997, he's been out for close to 18 years now.

Smaller gatchapon are handy because they are easily packed away if you're like me and rotate them in and out of storage.  Larger figures take more care in packaging, where capsule figures can be taken apart, wrapped loosely in soft tissue paper or paper towels, and then packed away in a plastic bag.  It's actually a good idea to rotate figures at least every six months, or clean them at the very least with a soft brush.  Handling figures also seems to do the trick of keeping them clean.  My collection of pose-able figures tend to collect less dust when I'm handling them regularly and exchanging parts.

My final photo is a set of Haruhi Suzumiya figures.  The unique thing about anime figures like these is the chance to see the characters in outfits you might normally find them in with larger figures.  Haruhi actually had these costume in the anime, but I have seen small figures with silly poses and cosplay when they don't show up in the exact same outfits in the anime or manga.  Having a smaller figure to work with, they can produce more of them at less expense then a 1/8 scale figure.

I still remember the first time I saw these figures at Wizzywig (yes, another of my early purchases there, although these were closer to the end of the larger shop).  Many of my figures as you can probably tell from the past two parts of this series were mostly modestly dressed figures from shonen or shojo anime/manga.  Occasionally you can find more 'risque' gatchapon or box figures, but these were the first set that I ever picked up on my own.

I'll confess, I'm married happily, I like cute things, but I also like figures that have that cat 'moe'.  I remember feeling a tad bit scandalous when I picked up these figures however.  I think I remember thinking to myself that someone would judge me for buying a bunch of cat girls (you may notice the Haruhi in the back left that is a bunny, she doesn't actually come with this set but I couldn't help but keep her in there with the others).  Over the years I have come to appreciate the art of cat girls and the adorable poses of these little figures.  I may even have a part in this series about cat girls in general as I do have about a handful of different figures now that are dressed as cat girls.  These were the first, however, so I have a special place in my heart for them.

So, hopefully you have a better idea of what gatchapon are and the different kinds you can find out there.  These are rather better made then some of the pack.  As a rule of thumb, if you can see them outside of the package, if they have decent paint jobs, most likely they will fit together reasonably well.  Sometimes a bit of super glue is handy to have if you are careful, that way they won't fall apart on you after a short period of time.  Also, if you're buying blind boxes, if the box is well constructed or has special ink (like metallic font or a combination of matte/gloss) the figures inside will be constructed at an equal level.  Figures that are thrown in a box with dozens of others might be cheap but they will be sketchy too.

Look for a capsule figure between $5-$8 and a boxed figure $10-$20.  Occasionally a nice vendor will offer to trade you a different figure if you get repeats, so buying multiples at a time sometimes help you finish the collection.  Other vendors might have figures out in a case that they are willing to sell you where you can see how the parts fit together.  If they are charging more than $5 for a figure that's put together than what you can find at another vendor in a blind box, most of the time it's better to go the route of the blind box.  Just find a few friends that are willing to share in the fun in case you get a repeat.

Even if you don't have friends who are willing to buy a few small figures you can trade off with, I have found at least these cheaper figures are easily gifted to your friends down the line.  More than one little blind box from my collection has found its way to a friend for Christmas or a birthday.  Feel free to spread the anime love!~

My Life with Anime Figures - Part 2 (CLAMP)

 Part two of my, I don't know how many parts this will be, series, covers my second large collection of anime figures:  CLAMP.

After getting into anime, I turned my attention for awhile away from Trigun to the more "girl friendly" Cardcaptor Sakura.  During the time period when I started collecting figures, it was actually pretty hard to find them unless one was at a convention.  However, I had one small advantage during that time, it was an anime store in Ann Arbor, Michigan, called "Wizzywig" (it stood for "what you see is what you get").  An awesome couple who lived in the area at the time opened the store in the downtown area, right down the street from the Borders (both of which no longer exist now) and the university theater, a couple blocks away from the University of Michigan, and within walking distance of another comic store called "Vault of Midnight" which still exists, only in a new location.  The location at that time was in a creepy dungeon type shop on the lower level of a shopping building.

Wizzywig was the best thing that happened to a twenty-something anime fan at the time, because even though I couldn't rent the DVDs and VHS tapes they had to offer, they had a huge selection of DVDs, CDs, figures, candy, and plushies for sale.  The store was fantasically huge at the time.  We would make a trip monthly to buy whatever we could and take them home to proudly display.  Most of the figures I bought at the time were Gatchapon, or capsule figures that came un-assembled, or occasionally in boxes as well, which the owners displayed on the counter above the DVD box set case where they kept the expensive stuff locked up.  I would spend all the money I had saved up throughout the month on figures such as the ones you see above, because at the time Sakura figures were plentiful (unlike Trigun, which at the time I had pretty much the entire collection at that point).

These little figures, although plentiful, had a great number of pieces that oftentimes would fall apart.  They are extremely hard to keep together.  I've considered in the past to glue them together, but I haven't quite convinced myself to do this, even though if you look at the image to the left, there are flowers missing from the branch behind Sakura's head.  They aren't missing as you'll see in a moment.

The little figures are also extremely hard to keep clean as they collect dust at a staggering rate, and you can't use compressed air to clean them.  Why?  Because you'll blow off the pieces!  (I've tried)  A small soft bristle brush will do the trick but you have to go at it extremely slowly to get all of the dust out of the crevasses.  And doing it this way, you're able to keep track of your pieces that come off so you can put them back on.

As you can see, I haven't cleaned these figures to the left in quite some time.  I'd say these have about two-three year's worth of dust on them.  Why would I let them get so dirty?  Well, these figures usually sit on a very high shelf and I have to get up on a stool to get them down. Plus, if you clean them too often, the pieces fall apart and sometimes I believe the dust actually helps hold them together.

Needless to say, I only clean these every few years so that they don't get too bad, plus it's such a time consuming task that it usually takes a few hours to pull them all down off the shelves, clean the shelves themselves and then dust off the figures individually, then put them all back up there again!  I do keep my best figures in cabinets as I have probably mentioned in the past, and luckily that keeps the dust down quite a bit.

I'd recommend if you were to begin collecting figures that you invest in a couple of small display cases for your favorite figures.  Also, invest in a nice, soft brush (a soft basting brush or makeup brush will do nicely) and compressed air for those figures that come assembled.  Also, make sure they aren't in harsh sunlight that can fade them, and make sure they are displayed so that they aren't pushing against one another (the paint can rub off that way) or that they aren't crammed in a box either because that can bend them over time.  Perhaps as part of this series I'll actually go through the do's and don'ts of figure care and show you more problems that can occur.

As you can see from the new image on the right, I've dusted Sakura and Keroberos as well as our 'peeping tom' Tomoyo on her base.  Kero - how are you in two places at once?!  Anyway, once the flowers are attached, the whole figure looks really adorable.  You can tell, however, Sakura is starting to slant toward the tree, and over time might eventually touch the tree.  This can be corrected in smaller figures with time and effort, but I'll go over that at a later time!

To finish off the photos of my Sakura collection, here's the rest of the outfits and figures that I got as Gatchapon.  The cat outfit in pink and black is actually one of the most troublesome figures in the collection as she doesn't like to stand up very well and also has a tail that pops out of her dress that falls off with the slightest breeze.  These figures, however, were some of my prized possessions at the time since they sat up on a shelf with the Cardcaptor manga that I collected.  It would actually be after I'd moved to Ohio that I'd finally get to watch the series in its entirety (I didn't own it but my husband did).

Next I'm going to skim over the shorter series where I have only a figure or two.

Angelic Layer was the first 'shonen' manga that CLAMP created.  Before this they worked strictly on 'shojo' manga.  If you've had any experience with CLAMP, then I'm sure you've had the whole history lesson behind them.  I won't go into it too much seeing as though there's a perfectly good Wiki article about CLAMP you could read.

I can't remember the actual date when they started releasing these chibi figures for CLAMP, but they did the entire series of characters.  I didn't get the whole set as they typically ran about $13-$20 for a single blind box figure.  I was luckily enough to buy just few enough that I didn't get any repeats.  The CLAMP in 3-D LAND figures came in 8 sets, don't quote me though, I can't find much information on them now.  I do know that Kobato here to the left was actually one from a later series.  Hikaru (above) came in an earlier set.  I also got a few from Chobits, Tsubasa Chronicles (below with others) and also Lawful Drug (or Legal Drug in the TokyoPop release).

I enjoyed collecting these figures as they're pretty well made, didn't come in a bunch of pieces, and had quite a few details.  Unfortunately, I always thought their eyes were a bit weird, but perhaps that was due to trying to replicate the CLAMP eye style in a colored version 3D figure.


Below left is my only figure from Legal Drug.  Back in the 1990's TokyoPop picked up these series (in Japanese called "Lawful Drug") and after three books the series was dropped.  Word in the otaku world said that CLAMP wasn't going to continue the series until they felt like they could continue in the direction that they chose.  For those of us reading the series we assumed they meant they weren't going to continue until they could move into a Yaoi or at least Shonen-ai direction.  I'm still not sure whether that was the plan, or perhaps they were wanting to take it into a darker direction?  I'm still not sure, even know as they've finally started to release "Drug & Drop".  Word is on Wiki that they had to change the name to continue in a new magazine.  I couldn't find out too much information about the series, but at least it's being translated in English now so I'm pleased with that.  Mostly because I really hate it when series never finish.

The Cardcaptor figure of Li Shaoran figure was kind of an accidental purchase since he was in a blind box as I don't think I would have just bought him.  Some of my collection will be like that.  Random gifted figures that I probably would never get for myself.  But I'll save that for a different blog.


Now onto some random figures from the series of Chobits!  The first collection of manga that I started from TokyoPop, (I have earlier versions of Cardcaptors, but they were printed in the flipped format) was Chobits.  They were just starting to bring out these books in the original Japanese format reading right-to-left as opposed to the English left-to-right.  Because of the success of such books at the time, companies in the USA produced these figures to the right and they came in blister packs.  You could find them in Japanese versions too if I remember correctly, but they really weren't made very well.  As you can see, the skin color is really quite yellow now, Chii on the left doesn't sit very straight on her base, and the Chii on the right's back foot likes to pull off the base.

The Freya here to the right (if you haven't read the manga or watched the anime - you should!  It's awesome) is one of my most favorite figures, although I never got any other from this set.  Kaiyodou was actually one of the best Gatchapon makers that I could find early on.  The paint job is a bit sloppy at best, but her hair and dress have an iridescent gleam to them.  Her hair is starting to split a bit in the back now, but of all of my early Gatchapon, she's still one of the better made.  (Kaiyodou also made the Trigun busts in the previous blog).

I'm still surprised to this day just how many figures were released for this series in the United States.  I'm not sure how many of them were actually produced in Japan and maybe replicated for us, but the little Chii here with her chaise was a freebee that came with Chobits #8 manga.  The figure came with the book and a box set that fit all of the manga.  At the time it was rather a risky thing since there weren't any other box sets like this for manga (until Magic Knight Rayearth, but I never did get any figures from that series).  There were plenty of boxes for DVDs at the time, and many of them came with figures, which is also another blog I can go over in the future.  Unfortunately, the coloration on this figure is a bit strange.  Her skin is rather yellowish and there is a blue tinge to her hair and her clothing.  I do like the fact that the chaise is separate, but it can't stand without a figure against it.  I've thought about placing other little figures with her, but haven't found one that could sit on the chaise without falling off.


The last of the Chobits figures I collected was also released in the USA.  She is the only partially articulated Chii that I own.  Her arms and hands are jointed, so you can raise her hand to wave or touch her head.  She can't do too much more than that, although her head turns a small bit as well.  She can be removed from her stool which is handy in case I want to display a different figure on a stool.  But her size is a bit larger than most figures that I collect, so it doesn't work very well with Figma or Revoltech articulated figures.

The quality of this figure is a bit better than many of my CLAMP figures since she is bigger, but her coloration is rather yellow.  My husband bought her one year as it was getting harder to find Chobits figures.  Sometimes I wish I had the money to get into some of the scale figures for these series, but even at the time they were more than a $100 a piece, and well out of my price range.  Even now you can find a lot of Chobits stuff out there and some range even in the thousands!

They were just starting to release Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles and xxxHolic in the last years when I was collecting these figures.  In those years between there was a time where the figures were still available (and there was a set of chess figures I didn't try to collect, although sometimes I wish I had), but they were just coming out with more of the 3-D Land figures and then into the Tsubasa figures.

 Mixed in with them I'd find the occasional figure from Chobits.  The little Chii is the only one I have with one of her little rabbit figures.  I never managed to get any other figure with one.  And Sumomo and Kotoko were my only figures besides a little keychain with Sumomo that I own.  Behind them you can see the boxset of the manga that I collected.  The very first manga still has the slip cover (like they use on Japanese manga, but TokyoPop replicated it to talk about it being a "real manga" since they switched formats starting with this manga).

I didn't take these figures out of their little cube up on the bookshelf as the dust is starting to get to me.  These set of mini figures came out for Tsubasa just a bit before the manga started to come out in the USA.  Tomoyo in the back right is actually from the set you'll see below that were assorted Gatchapon that I had to put together.  Sakura, Shaoran and the others came in boxes.  I remember seeing them for the first time and buying the entire set immediately as Wizzywig had them for the cheapest price I'd ever see.  Later on other stores would boost the price quite a bit.  I also bought the entire set of the rest of the figures below since I was really into Tsubasa when it came out.  (And no, if you're wondering, the name of our convention has nothing to do with the series!

 Starting with Yuko and Mokona on the left, she's my most troublesome figure as her hairpiece falls off all the time as do her arms.  I can't remember whether I finally broke down and glued her together or not as I haven't touched her but to slide her to the left and right to dust around her.  If you look at the big version of this photo you'll notice that she's quite dusty, as is the chibi version to her right.

Sakura and Shaoran are from the same sets, just as the chibi Sakura is from the CLAMP in 3-D set.  The Fai and Chii are from the same set.  Chii is actually another good example of figures that are troublesome over time.  I may end up doing a blog on how to correct these figures as the plastic sometimes bends over time.  I have four or five figures that have been starting to lean over time and Chii rests against Fai here just to keep upright.  I do like how they made this character more of a cat-girl of sorts, giving her ears as opposed to interface ports.  It is unfortunate that in the series they didn't go over how Fai made her or what she was supposed to be besides a companion.  I need to look through the final book again, but I almost seem to think that they never really returned to her at all.  If that was true, it's sort of sad for her to be left behind never to be thought of again.

I like setting up my figures in front of their books, and typically most of my figures are displayed this way.  Upon looking at the entire 28 manga set here though, I think whomever was working on the covers at DelRay certainly liked Shaoran the best of all of the characters.  He has more spine photos than everyone else!  Of course, if you've read the series you'll probably understand why, but I'll try not to spoil it for you if you haven't read it.

Anyway, in conclusion, I do actually have a few other CLAMP figures in my collection.  However, they're a bit newer, like my Sakura Nendroid, and eventually I'll just do a blog on all of the Nendroids in the house, but I got her just in the last month, so she's not part of the 'original' collection.  I'm pretty sure I have more figures up in storage too, at least some of the more troublesome ones.  I know I have a set of keychains of all of the Tsubasa figures that I also bought during the same time period.  They were from the same set as the little white Makona (I also have a black Makona).  I also have a few plushies, but as I was just going over figures today, I hope you enjoy looking at the collection!

For your reference, so you don't get too jealous of the collection which I got over probably a 5-8 year period of time, most of these figures ranged in price from $5-$30 (for the large Chii), and some of them were free with other purchases.  More than a couple were gifts that I received from people who were also collecting some of the blind box sets and we traded off duplicates.  I also had a few duds that I gave away over the years.  These are my favorites though, so I like showing them off and don't mind bringing out the duster once in awhile to keep them on display!

My Life with Anime Figures - Part 1 (Trigun)

After spending a ridiculous amount of time watching vlogs about people opening figurines, showing off their collections, reviewing figurines and even pointing out the differences between bootleg figures and the real, I decided to start my own series of blogs on my own collection.  Since I don't own video editing software (although I'm sure my husband would love to get me into it if I asked) I'd much rather write since that's why I went to college.  Plus, with my super camera, it's awfully fun just to take pictures of the figures I've collected over the years.  Plus it's just a fun trip down memory lane.

I hesitate slightly to say that the Trigun figures to the right were my very first anime related figures.  I think they were, unless you count various Pokemon or perhaps a random other series.  These were, however, the first figures I bought at an anime convention.  Rewind the years back to 2004 in January near the beginning of the year when Ohayocon first moved to the Columbus Convention Center.  Well, more accurately the convention space at the Hyatt, as they weren't really big enough to expand into the convention center itself.  They had the dealer room in a banquet room across where then was only a row of windows letting onto a circle drive where people could be dropped off.

For giggles, here you see the back of my head as I was dressed as Milly Thompson from the Trigun series.  Behind us (unbeknownst to me) a rather popular cosplay photographer stood on a chair as my photo was being taken with a Wolfwood cosplayer by a Chii and Witch Hunter Robin.  Those were the days!  Fewer people cosplayed then just attended in normal clothes, and there was less anime you could easily get your hands on, although that would change in the next few years.  At the time, there were very few figures you could get without buying them at a convention or expensively getting them shipped overseas by someone sketchy.  I'd imagine a lot of the figures were either very cheaply produced (like my Trigun figures above) or super expensive.

Back to when I bought these figures.  So when I first walked into the vendor room I was by myself, only a little over a $100 in my pocket for three days of spending and food (I had a debit card but no credit cards at the time...or rather, most people didn't take credit in the dealer room then!)  And the moment I walked in a guy in a booth called me over and said, "I know what you're looking for!"  He pulled out a plastic bag and shoved these figures at me, as well as another bag with the mini-busts to the right.

Well, more accurately, only the Milly, Wolfwood, Meryl, a Knives, and transformed Vash, I'd later get the rest of the series through much searching.  At the time the sets cost me $40, and I willingly shelled out the money before I realized I would be stuck eating one meal a day the rest of the weekend.  Was it worth it?  Totally.  The guy who sold me those figures still runs the circuit and I see him at Ohayocon and even Tsubasacon (he's out of the Columbus area, Anime Palace if you've ever met Wade, you'll know who I'm talking about).  I'm still amazed to realize that there were some hardcore anime fans who really loved what they did and wanted to share what they knew with fans.  I was a fan of like three series at the time: Trigun, InuYasha and Chobits.  Only later did I start collecting more figures and getting into more series as it became easier to pick up at local stores like Best Buy.

Now, the little figures (gatchapon mostly) were fairly easy to come by at conventions.  However, if you wanted a more expensive one, well, you had to plan for it and it was still pretty hard to get them online because many of them would charge as much for shipping as the figurine themselves.  Or maybe you'd have a friend like mine who just happened to have a Vash figure that they didn't want anymore.

This beauty (although I think this particular one might be my husband's...we have a couple in the household now) was bent backwards, missing some parts, but oh gosh I wanted it so badly that I ended up getting ripped off by a couple of friends who wanted to unload it since they were strapped for cash.  I think I paid $60 for it (and for awhile you could find it for $30 until it became a bit more rare but still costs only around $40 on eBay).  It was one of those figures that I both loved, but also hated because I had mixed feelings on how I came to acquire it.

At the time the McFarlane figure was the only one available directly to the United States, and it would be a year or so before the other sets would be released, but the popularity of the other figures didn't last very long since only the busts covered the majority of characters in the series.  Quite a few were produced over the years and the older photo here doesn't have all of my figures, but since I didn't feel like pulling them all down and dusting them off, I thought I'd just put this up here to finish out talking about the first set of figures that I've collected over the years.

Originally most of my money went to buying figures strictly from Trigun.  Mostly Vash, but a few others as the years went on.  This collection is not by any means comprehensive.  I have friends who have quite a few more than this, but I enjoy the range it has as a set of figures.  Mostly because you have good guys and bad guys, anime and manga based, official paints as well as 'repaints' which were mostly Vash's special black and silver coloration.  Sometimes I wish they'd explained why Vash also came with a black coat in those early figures, even though it eventually came to fruition in the manga series years later, I've always wondered if Yasuhiro Nightow came up with the idea or whether it was in the mind of the figure creators.

In the next blog I plan to go to my next set of figures:  CLAMP

Fandoms: Obsession or Hobby?

I've been thinking about fandoms lately, and of course, being a person who has jumped through dozens of them over the years, I thought I'd talk about them today.  For someone who spends a lot of time keeping up with the more geeky fandoms throughout the years, I feel at least a bit comfortable talking on a surface level about just about anything.  Fandom (which, by the way, my spell checker does not like the word, and I keep getting squiggly red lines when I type) is a word that, at least to me, means something that a lot of people like and spend a lot of time thinking about and usually entails spending copious amounts of money on and takes up most of their lives.  This can range from a television show to a football team (*cough* OSU *cough), can be for a single actor, or for certain characters from movies.  It can be an anime or live action, it can be for a toy or a collection like baseball cards.  You name it, there's probably a fandom for it.  Food, furniture, plants, hobbies... well, the list could go on forever.

My own personal list has been fairly brief over the years, although when I get into something new, that old fandom is still back there in my mind, creeping up from time to time when I meet someone else who has the same obsession over the subject.  But I'll get to my opinion on whether these things are mere hobbies or obsessions a little later on, don't worry.

1.

The first memory I can remember about my own personal fandom starts with My Little Pony.  Flashback to 1985, and they'd just switched from "My Pretty Pony" to the first generation of My Little Pony and I had a very small collection of ponies.  (For the record I was more obsessed over animals than dolls, and threw away my very first Barbie after chewing off her hands when I was 5 or 6)  I continued to collect the little pastel ponies throughout my years until I turned a teen, and even during the short time period where the ponies weren't being released by Hasbro (and the period where they looked stupid) I still thought about the ponies and would 'save' them from flea markets and garage sales where I could.  I still have my entire collection of ponies until this day, they probably hit the 100 mark now.

What's interesting about my first fandom was that I wasn't a member of a fandom when I was growing up.  This was a hobby, a collection, an obsession over little plastic toys with brushable hair.  It was much later, only in the last four years or so that I suddenly became a member of a fandom.  The Brony community was created and suddenly here I am, a member of this group of pony-lovers.  It's the one fandom that I don't believe I'll ever outgrow, even when the cartoon ends again or they change to some other strange pony style down the road.  Would I call this more of a hobby or an obsession?  At this point in my life I think it's still more of a hobby since I don't go to Brony conventions or spend much time talking to other fans.

2.

My second longest fandom started in 1993 with the release of the Super Mario Brothers Movie.  Strangely enough, this was another fandom that just wasn't a fandom when I liked it at the beginning.  I knew only one other person who liked the movie and we obsessed over it for a year or two until my friend went onto other things and my obsession turned into more of a collection.  Much later, almost the 20th anniversary of the movie, and I discovered a community of like-minded individuals who had been even more obsessed about SMB then I had been and started up small conventions and showings, began comic books and helped bring about the release of the Blu-Ray of the movie.  I still love SMB:The Movie even though now it's also more of a collection that sits in my closet then something I go out and actively participate in.

3.

A very short fandom that I still feel appreciative of was Batman Returns.  I had a crush on Danny DeVito's Penguin.  I cried when he died in the movie and was carried out into the water by the penguins.  For six months or so I wondered what it would be like to have flipper hands and be the Penguin's daughter.  This was, of course, one of my stranger fandoms and again, another where I've never been a member of a group...although I'm sure there's others like me out there!

4.

Pokemon.  Do I need to say much about them?  My first Game Boy was a clear purple "color" which didn't have color of course.  My brother got both Red and Blue, I took Red, he got Blue and we both managed to get through the Elite Four.  We both gave up trying to get all the pokemon and cheated using a Game Genie (or was it a Shark in those days?) and filled my pokedex and got a blue mew for the heck of it.  Since then I've gotten just about every other pokemon game (minus a few over the years when friends had them) and also got into the card game for awhile.  I still collect the toys from time to time and just enjoy talking about pokemon.  I think this was my first "true" fandom as almost from the very start I knew other people who liked the games and we talked about them over the years.  Plus, I'm still a fan, although more on a fringe way I suppose as I haven't bought some of the reboots lately and have fallen out of things recently.

5.

Highlander: The Series.  Let's switch gears and think TV shows.  I had a stint with X-Files around 1997 or so where I got posters and journals and cards and my room was papered with magazine clippings that looked like I was a shut-in.  However, that was only because I couldn't afford much of the Highlander stuff that came out until after I graduated and was in college.  I was a huge fan of Adrian Paul and later Peter Wingfield.  This was one of my most expensive fandoms as I spent a ton of money on buying the VHS sets that came with a bunch of extra cool stuff.  I still use a bag that I got from that and have some jewelry items I bring out from time to time.  I see people wearing Highlander jackets on occasion out and about too, so I know that even though the fandom died back, it didn't die off completely.  In fact, there's been tons of references just lately to the Highlander series in various cartoons and TV shows (like Forever, for example).

Highlander was the first time I really obsessed over a show and all I talked about was the series.  I wanted to be an immortal.  I met people online who also wanted to be immortal.  I wrote fanfiction, I tried my hand drawing artwork (and failed miserably, but I knew friends who could draw excellently) and I made my first website about the series.  It grew for years into three websites, forums and eventually even a meet-up.  I met a bunch of people and hung out with friends from other states, chatted online with people from Europe and exchanged artwork and presents.

Unfortunately, this series upon it's end, basically meant the end of the fandom for me.  Mostly.  My friends and quibbled about real-life things since we really had nothing else in common besides the series, and when it was over and we'd talked it all out, that was it.  A few friends went into new fandoms (two of which went onto Russel Crowe, another onto Outlander years later), and eventually I just fell back on my pokemon fandom for awhile as I really couldn't keep up with them.  I didn't like Russel Crowe, I couldn't get obsessed over him, and I didn't want to.

6.

My pokemon fandom had a combination with my short stint as a gamer. I won't say that this fandom of tabletop and cardgames was actually a fandom for me.  It was more like a "I need to like these things to get a boyfriend" thought for a few years.  Unfortunately I went through nearly everyone in the gaming group I was in until I realized that just wasn't going to work and mistakes learned, I moved away from that fandom back to pokemon and it's grandmother Anime.

7.

Trigun.  Anime was always on the backburner for me from the time that Sailor Moon was released, Pokemon, and a few shows here and there until suddenly I was watching Adult Swim at night and there was Cowboy Bebop, Inu Yasha, YuYuHakusho and Trigun.

Vash the Stampede was a crush of mine for quite a few years from 2002-2006.  Heck, I think I obsessed over him a bit longer than that too, although in 2006 I met my future husband and that basically ended my obsession.  However, Trigun was something unique to me when it came to the fandom.  Trigun had a small fan base in the USA with the release of the anime.  There were a few people online who had created websites, they had created some translations and had a limited amount of information available on the web.  But, most of it had been abandoned.  It became a fandom that I pulled up out of the dirt, brushed off and started all over again.

I started up my own website and posted things every day.  I created my first blog of sorts with the daily updates.  I had some fun things to see, started writing some fanfiction, and met some others who liked the series too.  I answered questions about the show and started collecting the manga even though it only existed in Japanese at the time.  I met people who had available to them the brand new chapters as they came out in Japan.  I pulled translations from them, eventually helped start a translation group, and then watched it go it's own way.  At the peak of my website, there were hours where the bandwidth allotment was reached and people couldn't visit until the next hour.  I had people emailing me every day with questions and information.  I chatted with people on AIM for hours about the topic and I was the person you went to for information about the series.

I'm still proud of my Trigun fandom.  I pulled up and brought it back to life and kept it running for quite a few years.  The fandom itself is pretty small now, but I still have the number one site for information about the series (except of course the Trigun Wiki page, but what do you expect?)  And I still have Trigun posters and pictures on my wall that I look at on a regular basis.

But is it an obsession?  No.  Not any more.  I don't spend hours thinking about Vash or Wolfwood taking me on adventures and spending time being a gunfighter on the desert planet.  I don't draw Vash non-stop, nor do I write fanfiction on the subject.  I still watch the show from time to time, still look at the manga, and I can't convince myself to throw out the magazines I had when they were first released even though the books have all been released and the series is completely translated.  But it's a collection, a memory of the fandom, and I'll have the website for awhile yet, but even that will eventually fade away as well.

8.

The Future.

I don't have a fandom that I'm really a member of at the moment.  I don't like anything so much that I'll go out of my way to spend hours talking about it.  I don't go out and spend time with others who like a certain thing and I don't write fanfiction or draw or share photos of anything.  Well, I suppose you could say that I like cats a lot, but I think that's more of cat-scratch fever than an actual obsession.  (Look it up - the virus of cat-scratch fever can actually effect your brain.  I almost think that people who are immune to this are those who become dog people or no-pet people)

But does that mean I'll never find another fandom?  I'm not sure.  I still collect My Little Ponies and Pokemon, I still watch anime, so I suppose in the greater sense I'm an anime fan.  But am I obsessed?  No.  This is more of a hobby.


OBSESSION OR HOBBY?

And now I will finally get around to speaking on the topic of this blog.  Are Fandoms really obsessions or are they hobbies?

Actually, they're both.

A fandom normally starts out as a hobby.  Perhaps you've watched a couple shows.  Maybe you've found yourself looking up information about the topic on Wiki or IMDB.  Maybe you've added yourself to a fangroup on FB.  Perhaps you buy a few knickknacks or a T-shirt.  Most people actually treat a fandom as a hobby.  I'd say, at least typically it starts out that way, and it just depends on how much time you spend thinking about it.  An hour a day?  Hobby.  Twenty-four hours a day?  Obsession.

Until Highlander, most of my fandoms were hobbies.  With Highlander and Trigun I had an out-right Obsession brewing.  I spent all of my free time on the topic, talked about it and enjoyed every single minute.


OBSESSION FANDOMS:  GOOD OR BAD?

I'm sure this is a mixed debate for people when it comes to fandoms.  A sports fan might argue that a person who only plays video games all day is wasting their lives, but that same sports fan might have a house full of OSU memorabilia, spend all their time on fantasy football, and the rest of the time trying to avoid blue and gold at all costs.  Are they any less obsessed than the video game player?  Nope.  Is it bad?  Probably not.

Obsessions tend to happen to people who are single, and they usually happen between the ages of 13-25.  Mind you, I'm speaking of fandom obsessions, because obviously there are people obsessions that can happen whenever and that...well, I won't go into that.  Anyway, most of these people are looking for acceptance into a group.  Find something you like, find others who like the same things you like, and that equals acceptance and something to talk about and just really makes one fit in.

On the flip side, some obsessions can also lead to some people shutting themselves in, obsessing over something that they don't share with others, and can lead to some far worse things.  There always must be a certain buffer from allowing oneself to fall into that category.  There's usually far worse things involved in these situations, so I won't go into it more than this.

I think for those who are single, obsession fandoms are great.  They open up new friendships, new relationships, gives them a creative release, brings them into a group where they can feel loved or at the very least, accepted for who they are and what they like.  This goes from a group who enjoy a single character from a TV series, to people like the Bronies, who do a whole lot of good in their communities.

I think for adults, and especially for those with families... obsessive hobbies should be watched.  Why do I say this?  Well, over the years I've witnessed quite a few different obsessions lead to some problems in family life and home.  A family full of OSU nuts?  Okay.  One gal who LOVES an actor so much they're willing to go to New Zealand in order to stalk the guy... Not good.

A person with a family should always be obsessed with their family first.  Why?  Because, it's their family, and they need to look out for them.  If the the family are all fans of the same thing, or at least marginally, they create that unit of acceptance that the single fan creates with their fandom.  They create a circle of acceptance, equality, and understanding.  That's great.  But it's all about the family first and how everyone fits in.  My family is obsessed with anime and figures.  It's a fairly all-encompassing fandom, but one we share.

A person with a family who is not obsessed with their family first, most likely is not happy with their family.  They aren't happy where they are and it can cause trouble in that environment.  The first such person I saw in this situation was during the end of my Highlander days.  Both she and her husband enjoyed playing video games, watching Doctor Who and going golfing.  However, she was also completely obsessed with Highlander and loved Adrian Paul and Peter Wingfield.  But after the series ended and she began her obsession with Russel Crowe, she joined groups online and started making plans to meet him.  Now, he's a pretty big celebrity, so this was a pretty big thing.  At the end of our friendship (and I have no idea where she went next as I've never been able to find her on Facebook) she was getting her jaw worked on and getting a divorce.  She hadn't even slept in the same bed with her husband for years, so I think she'd already written off the marriage pretty early.

A more recent situation was were a friend of mine got into My Little Pony, called himself a Brony, and then started meeting other people and spending lots of time on the internet.  At first his wife joined him in the pony obsession.  (At least to an extent, as most Bronies are single until they find that special "Somepony")  But then he went off onto Adventure Time, and again, they both found interest in the cartoon series.  But then his hobby turned into an obsession with writing fanfiction and finding others to include in his inner circle.  This no longer included his wife, however, and even his long-time friends who tried to find interest in his fandom (my husband and I), found ourselves in this strange less than 6-month battle as fandom obsession turned war.


CONCLUSION

In conclusion... heh.  I spent far too much time writing essays in college to let them go.  Strangely enough my blogs still take essay form.  Forgive me!  You just learned something!  Intro, content, conclusion.

In conclusion, I believe that fandoms are better left hobbies, rather than letting them get into the obsession category.  However, I do believe there is good in allowing a fandom to take over your life, just so long as you don't forget those around you.  Make friends, use them to learn new things and expand your horizons.  Find others who share your obsession, but don't lock yourself away with it.  Share your stories and drawings, share your interests, ideas and thoughts, and don't feel ashamed of it.  Those who shun you for those activities are not people you want to hang out with!

Love your fandom and take good care of it.  Don't find yourself shunning others who want to be included, they are just trying to find a place in life too.  Don't keep your fandom from your family, maybe they'll want to get into what you like too.  Find things to surround you to keep you happy, but don't spend a fortune on dust-collectors (ahem, self!) and try not to go too over the top with your decor (ahem, OSU room people!)  Love what you like, share what you love, but also keep your eyes open to new things that could interest and create a new fandom for you.


MY FANDOM FUTURE

Where will my fandom go in the future?  I think it'll always be with anime and cartoons, childish things, yes perhaps. I'm already infected with liking cats, so...can't help much there I'm afraid (ahahaha!)  But will I ever get that series I'm totally obsessed with again?

Well...only time will tell really.  I kind of don't think so though.  Typically my fandoms, the ones where I really got into it so much that all of my time was spent thinking about them...those were when I was single.  I crushed over guys (whether human or animated) and I spent my time thinking about how much I wanted to be with them and for their lives to coincide with my own.  But I have a husband now.  I don't think about Hollywood movie starts or characters from TV shows with any romantic interest, nor do I want to.  I enjoy being a fan of anime WITH my husband.  I enjoy liking what he likes but I also have stuff that he does I don't care for and he doesn't care for some of my things.  I feel like if I were ever to be obsessed, truly obsessed as I had been in the past, it would take away from my home life, it would take away from those things that I hold dear to me, and I think it would take time away from them (my family) so why would I do that?  If I ever did get completely obsessed again...I think I would worry about myself as it would show signs of being unhappy, and I'm not unhappy.

But...then again, time will tell of course.  Maybe there is a way to be completely obsessed with something and also be happy with one's family.  Heck, I've seen plenty of OSU families, so it's got to be a thing!  Perhaps if we find something to be obsessed with together, that is where our future will lie.

I'll try to enjoy my fandoms - and I hope, dear reader, you will enjoy yours as well!

Year of the Ram

A new year has just begun, and even though we aren't quite in the Chinese new year when the Year of the Ram begins, I thought I'd make a blog celebrating this cultural zodiac. Mostly because I was born in the year of a Ram, oh so many years ago, and even though my husband treats it as his year as well, he was technically a Horse if you're dealing in the Chinese calendar as opposed to our Western calendar.  But, he seems to fit the Ram better, so I don't argue the technicalities.

I realized after my last post that I was being rather bleak, and perhaps I'll take that last post down as though even if it does represent my feelings at the time, I think it's rambling nature doesn't seem to hit a specific point.  Perhaps it's a good thing that I labeled it "randomness" because you really don't know what you are going to get when I put something under that label.

I'm hoping this year that things will be better than last year.  This isn't to say that 2014 was a bad year necessarily.  I had some good things happen in 2014.  Let's see, I got a raise in the summer after my review.  I went to Pittsburgh for the first time.  Somewhat started a new fandom of Hatsune Miku, although my My Little Pony fandom is still in effect.  My husband built me a brand new computer.  Almost finished the interior of our garage, but at least got most of it organized.  Had my 5 year anniversary.  Learned the word "oppai".  Haha haa.

Unfortunately, this year also hasn't been super fantastic either.  I didn't get to go on an "official" vacation anywhere, which made me rather sad, although my Mom enjoyed having me visit her this summer instead.  Our one couple we were friends with got a divorce, and even though it turned out to be the best thing that happened to the wife (in my opinion), it opened our eyes on the husband which made things awkward for my husband who was friends with him.  Then we got into a falling out with some friends through out convention in a similar circumstance which also turned into lots of awkwardness and as my husband's best friend stated, "emptied our emotional bank accounts," during September.  Two of my cats had to go in to get teeth pulled as they were starting to rot and fall out.  The spring came and the neighborhood boys started pelting our house with cement blocks - and then once Christmas break started, did it again, putting rather large holes into our siding now.  My district manager seems to have it out for my boss which in turns puts us all into a fowl mood.

And then throw into the equation the fact that I turned 35 and keep having problems with my body breaking down from sore knees when it gets cold, allergies, and other more disgusting intestinal tract problems I'm not going to go into.  Then there's my emotional balance that keeps getting thrown out of whack.  It feels as though either I'm over-emotional and I get really stressed out and feel like a mess, or I shut down my emotions completely and then I can't enjoy things like holidays and special events.  Maybe I have a touch of bipolar disorder, although I've never been diagnosed with it, and it doesn't go to extremes (as I've rarely ever go to extreme joy mode and never get to must kill myself mode either - thank God!) - it still feels like there's rarely times where I feel completely balanced with the two extremes.  A day like today, where I feel something of a clarity is about as close as I can get, and seeing as though today is the first day of the new year, I believe I should be feeling something about it being the new year, but I don't.  But I do feel somewhat content, so that's a plus.

So what do I hope for from 2015?  Well, I do hope that I can find some kind of balance.  Maybe find some kind of reason to continue on and maybe start setting some goals for myself.  I thought about perhaps really going after learning Japanese.  Thought about starting an exercise regime.  Maybe trying to write more.  Maybe I need to make some sort of other change with my life.  I'm just not sure.  My friend who got the divorce is pursuing a ton of goals that she had basically written off for herself when she got married (or her husband made her, I'm not even sure she's sure of that) and for that, I'm super proud of her.  I think, what are the goals that I had before I got married?  Maybe there are some that I've let slip to the side over these last 5 years or more that I've known my husband.  

I had hoped to become a writer.  Then I learned what that entails.  I thought about doing some artwork and then I realized that I don't have the ambition to follow through with it as I want.  Maybe my true goal for 2015 is to find a passion for something.  Maybe finding that passion will help me feel content.  The problem is, I'm a Jack of all trades but a master of none.  I find so many things that I enjoy doing but there isn't a single one that stands out and says, "Pick Me!"  Well, except perhaps writing.  But it's such a difficult career to get into.  First there has to be good writing.  Then there has to be someone to believe in your good writing.  That's where my career came to a stand still.  I write, but if I can't even get my own family or friends to read my writing, then why would complete strangers read it?  Perhaps I should make "How-to" manuals...would people read them then?  I do enjoy telling people what to do!  (ahahaha!)

So, that's where the problem lies.  I need to have someone believe in my writing so that I could get an agent that would sell me.  When I get someone who could sell me they could set up jobs for me to write and before long maybe I could actually make money doing it.  Of course there's always the route of self-publishing.  But then I'd be at step two again - find someone who wants to read what I have to say.  If I put $1,000 into publishing a book, I'd have to go and find someone to sell that book, someone who wants to read it, and someone who is excited to pay some money for reading about me.  I've met self-publishers before and I've met some who are so extremely outgoing that they have done a great job selling themselves.  Then I've met some who just fail and have a stack of books in their basement because they can't find anyone to buy it.

But again, maybe if I have the ambition...or rather, the passion to do something I really believe in, then I'll have the passion to sell myself as well.  It's hard though, as I've found out over the years, fans come and go, and unless I have a lot of them, when they go, it's like they've taken a piece out of me.  It feels like every time I've lost a reader that some part of my love of writing has disappeared with them.  They have taken the parts of my soul that I opened up to them and then threw them away and went onto bigger and better things.  Maybe that's why I still blog, I do it for myself and I rather think that I enjoy doing it, but no one's taken this part of my writing away from me.  My original stories and my fanfiction are almost all gone now that all of my fans are gone, and that part of me feels lonely and sad and unwilling to get to the place where I used to enjoy writing those fantasies.  Maybe someday I can do that for myself again, but it does seem rather a waste of time to write things that no one is going to read, at least, my older, more boring self believes that.

Oh well, my blog has become rather a downer again, now hasn't it?  So maybe I'll try to leave this at a brighter note.  It's supposedly the Year of the Ram, and thus should be a lucky year for me.  Things are looking up a bit at my job, or rather, they've settled down a bit and at least our inventory isn't around my anniversary again this year.  Things should be bigger and better at our convention this year and maybe I'll be more on top of things this year.  I plan to plant more prickly pine trees on the side of my house to try to keep neighbor boys out (I hope).  I'm going to try to focus on being more positive and find a focus.  Even if that focus is just cleaning up my computer area and my library.  Maybe find a new series to watch on TV.  Perhaps keep some plants alive through the winter.  Maybe finally get new hardwood flooring in my living room finally, and be able to redecorate to get a sense of 'this place is new' - at least, I hope all those things.

I hope you have a good new year.  Maybe yours will be better than 2014 too. 

The Holiday Problem

I'm not sure if it's depression or the simple fact that I work in retail, but I have noticed a distinct shift in how I feel about holidays.  I don't actually feel anything about holidays lately.  I can remember back on how I felt on holidays previously, but this year it's been distinctly not magical and not special and I felt rather numb throughout the entire holiday season.  Much like I was going through the motions.  Don't get me wrong, on Halloween, I did feel rather happy with all of the children coming up and loving the display we put together.  However, this year at Thanksgiving I felt rather empty since we didn't have family up but for my mom.  And then come Christmas I was excited to go to Michigan to see snow...no snow.  It didn't feel like the holiday at all.

In fact, as I was getting excited to give my mom a Chromebook so we could finally start conversing with her via email and chats... she put off opening presents until we had a half hour left to go to my Aunt's dinner and we had only about enough time to show her how to turn the thing on and play a game of solitaire before having to pack up everything to leave.

I only got presents for a handful of people and I thought maybe I'd feel happier by giving away those presents, but they didn't seem to enjoy them all that much.  Then I turn around and don't really care if I got anything myself.  It felt strange not to be excited about it.

The Christmas dinner was more about the routine then actually seeing people.  We ate our dinner, watched our cousins yell at their children for not eating food or running around or not being obedient while we were praying... then we ate and opened presents and the little ones whined and cried because they only got one gift each, but last year I was told not to get them anything so I didn't get them anything at all either.  

Then someone burned a plastic container on the stove and things just sort of degraded and I realized that I didn't feel at home there anymore.  I just felt sort of on the outside watching it all happen.  I didn't take photos and didn't really get involved in any of the conversations happening.  I just wanted to eat and leave.

Maybe working retail has made it hard for me to enjoy consumerism.  And no, I don't just believe that's what the holiday is about, but when we bow our heads to say a quick prayer over supper and the children fidget and giggle and their parents haven't taught them to respect it, and they cry over not getting presents - well, didn't that just turn the holiday over to little consumers?  

I think I would have had a better holiday had I stayed home with my cats and just enjoyed being in the comfort of my own company and I didn't need any presents or anything special to have enjoyed a good holiday.

It's hard to describe this to people, so I'm just basically throwing this out there as I want to still get excited about the new year.  I want to be able to celebrate the ball drop, so who knows?  I did enjoy seeing an old friend while I was up in Michigan that I hadn't seen in years.  It was nice to touch base with people again after so long.  Maybe seeing my friends at New Year's will make things nice too.

Well...I hope.  I don't want to be writing another bummed out blog again any time soon!